September saw 1 wedding, 1 wedding reception, while editing two others from August, and 28 other sessions. I'm not sure if everyone knows but I also work full time aside from photography. September has also held a variety of emotions and feelings that I'm still processing. Because many people (clients and otherwise) have asked me and pointed out a number of disturbing things, I am choosing to address it rather than hear myself and others thrown around.
Yes, people are copying me....straight down to the logo...holiday sessions--word for word and same date...posing and props....and yes, it hurts. Some things just are not coincidence and it has taught me one of the hardest life lessons yet--the art of not taking things personally. I have learned, in the last 14 days especially, that I work in a business where people come out of the woodwork the minute they buy a fancy camera, make a business page--even send personal messages to my own clients soliciting their business--and don't understand how their actions impact others. I work in a visually stimulating business and one where we are always trying to "one up" another. I realized, in the last 24 hours, why I have been so hurt by it. I don't "one up." I don't stalk anyone's photography page and think--how can I be better than them? I work solely on my own heart at the exact moment it happens...naturally, organically, and without studying pinterest or anyone else's photos. I work to be better than myself. Period.
After a rocky road this month, I had contemplated whether or not this business was worth it. I say business because I pay taxes, purchase liability insurance, record mileage, keep receipts, and work my butt off to keep dreaming bigger. Truth be told, I was not positive what I was going to do and I don't know how many times I called my mom asking for reassurance or just needing a shoulder to cry on. In the midst of a business decision gone sour last week, she sent me this:
"I am not telling you what to do-your life is yours to live-what I do know is you are happiest when you come across a picture you took that is incredible and your excitement is tangible. I can see where your photography feeds a part of you that your day to day life does not feed. I love you, adore you…and know this is a tough time-yet what is worth fighting for? Your business which feeds your soul or your vanilla day to day existence?"
I did not respond to that email...but I did decide to fight for myself and I have processed those very sentiments since.
I don't know what works for other people...I only know what works for me and I know that there is no other Olivia or Oh! Photography....my heart exists only in myself and people choose that. I believe, with more certainty than ANYTHING in my life, that I have the BEST clients. THE BEST. They are my biggest cheerleaders and fans....their loyalty and honesty, bravery and strength inspires me. I could tell you something special from every session I've ever done. NOT because of anything bad but because each of you is engraved on my heart.
Last week, I got deliveries of wine and chocolate--not because these people knew I was upset or sad but because they wanted to say thank you. Today, alone, I got the sweetest thank you card, a gift card to Starbucks, another bottle of wine (I swear I'm not an alcoholic :) ), and hugs that felt like Heaven. What people don't quite understand is this is my heart. Any successful business starts with a passionate individual. These may be your faces and your families but each direction, each movement, each snap comes from somewhere deep inside of me--sometimes, I don't even know where it comes from. I was shooting this afternoon, quickly exclaimed "I totally got him" and the dad asked how I knew. I simply said it has become like breathing. I know because it's an extension of myself. Most photographers will tell you this. It is a part of us. We just know.
I have reminded myself in these past weeks that comparison is the thief of all joy...and I will not let anyone else steal my joy. I don't know that I will stop taking things personally but I am trying to remember that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery....and, as Kim Thiel told me once, take it as a compliment and move on.
For each of you who has worried and wondered, this business is not going anywhere....and for those who have reported impostors -thank you for caring, but I simply don't have it in me to care anymore....I am most concerned with the next adventures I will be taking people on....and for those who have checked in, delivered flowers, sweet messages, and convinced me to hold on I am so thankful for your care and kindness. I have nothing but gratitude in my heart for each of you.
October holds another wedding, the first batch of holiday sessions, a sunrise session, babies galore, an event at the Maritime museum, the first Oh!preciation, and FOURTY THREE other booked sessions. I am so blessed. I consider myself one of the rare few who are chosen for who they are.
One of the hardest, and greatest, lessons I've ever learned is when to fight and when to walk away....there are only a select few things in my life worth fighting for....and this business is one of them.
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