What Does Your Love Look Like?

This project has been on my heart  for quite some time. I took on weddings this year...and with weddings came the huge task of details. I have found that, in the few I have done, my favorite detail is the ring shot. While you dream of the dress and the church and the flowers and the music your whole life....you, often, don't get to pick out your ring. I imagine that most men have either dragged their fiancé's ring shopping or have spent countless hours browsing, budgeting, saving, and searching for the perfect one. Think about it--you tell people you're engaged and either you're posting your ring on Facebook, your friend is grabbing your hand to see, or they're asking you about it between excited screaming and congratulating. After they've scoped it out and congratulated you, they ask you how he did it. The ring. It's, in my opinion, the most important detail. That round piece of metal with shiny stones is what starts a planning process where you take your best friends and your mom (and his) dress shopping...you set a date, pick a venue, spend a whole lot of money, and stare at this promise in joyful hope of one of the biggest days of your life.

This got me to thinking some more. I haven't worn my dress again since I've been married....and every decoration and favor are packed away in a box somewhere....my wedding videos are sitting on a shelf and are watched maybe once or twice a year but your rings, they are still there. They've changed over time. Mine went from this stunning white gold and turned a bit yellow after wear...it has scratches and had been caught on filing cabinets, has washed the dishes, been played with by children, and has countless other memories attached to it. It might not be as round or as shiny as it once was but you wouldn't trade it in...and maybe you've thrown it across the room in an argument and maybe you play with it all of the time and maybe you can't get it off or maybe you can't get it on because you're waiting on your baby to arrive and your fingers are swollen. 

Either way...and no matter what...you make a choice to keep it on or take it off. 

My business cards say "anything but ordinary" and this is one of those times. In an attempt to tell you about love, I am choosing to do it in a different way. These rings all have a story. Every single one. I hope you enjoy this as much as I have. Truly, seeing the beauty in something that has changed over time and still remains constant has changed my perspective.

This love is separated. Half of this couple is in Afghanistan while the other half (and their sweet dog) is patiently waiting for him to come home. They've seen deployments, moves, and truly know that absence does make the heart grow fonder. He will still be connected to her, half a world away, and she to him, through these bands on their left hands. 

This love has seen three children...one being a set of twins (holy wow!)....they have been tested, challenged, tried, and have become stronger for it. They will tell you that they are not perfect and their marriage is hard work but each day they choose each other. Her husband's ring means "soul mate" in Gaelic and has the claddagh symbol on the front. The symbol represents three things, love (the heart), friendship (the hands), and loyalty (the crown). If you know this pair, you know that they have all three of those things in their marriage. I love that he looks at her with respect AND this giddy, head over feet love, still...all these years later. I love, even more, that they truly are soul mates. 

This love is raising two children....working on building their dream home...and has ALWAYS been about the best adventures. They are the truest team I have ever seen, each bringing out the best in each other and never exploiting weaknesses but playing to their strengths. They are genuine and kind...and his ring has been scratched and even has a small weld on it (it's the raised part toward the back of the ring)...you can see that they have been worn and loved just as they have loved each other. Neither are perfect but together they are an amazing pair. The way they love each other is inspiring as an outsider....and, as their friend, is gives me more hope than you could ever imagine. They have built a foundation that cannot be rocked or torn because they know that anything worth having requires work. Their love is strong...and they are one of the most amazing couples I've ever met. 

This love has had a long road....while their time together was too short, their love was deep and wide. Her husband is in Heaven....and just before they closed his casket, they returned to her his ring....their love lives still and always will. When I asked her where she felt him the most, she told me that the cemetery was the place she had visited every day since losing him....if you haven't experienced it, there is much comfort there--in a physical place where they do not feel as far as they truly are. This love has known suffering, good times and bad, and they chose each other regardless.....knowing the road would be hard and long....how truly amazing is that.

And, finally....my rings. I chose a chair because Chris had always been my soft place to land. Our love was short but it has changed my entire life. I wear my wedding band on the right hand now...and it's scratched and a bit yellow....but it serves as the best reminder of what we have. My favorite number has always been 8....because, when you turn it on it's side, it means infinity in Greek. I purchased this simple wire ring a few months ago and, when I was setting up this shot, I felt like it belonged there. It is, for me, a blending of what was and what still is. I infinitely love him, still....and while my engagement ring sits beside his wedding band in my jewelry box, I am thankful to have had him at all. Our love was not perfect...we fought, we laughed, we cried, we dreamed, we failed, and we always tried again. My life is very different now but I still find such comfort in looking down at my wedding band and knowing someone in another universe is still looking out for me. I can no longer take a photo with my husband but this photo still shows me our love and, for me, that is more than enough.

As I finish this post, Stand By Me has appropriately come on Pandora....and, for the record, I believe whole heartedly in signs. 

.Lessons. | Personal

I have so much on my heart. This blog serves purpose as both personal and professional reflection. I feel both is necessary when choosing someone to capture your moments and I am not afraid to lay it all out there. This month has been a difficult one for Miss Oh! and while I have tried very hard to just do what I do best, as Howie Day would say, even the best fall down sometimes.

September saw 1 wedding, 1 wedding reception, while editing two others from August, and 28 other sessions. I'm not sure if everyone knows but I also work full time aside from photography. September has also held a variety of emotions and feelings that I'm still processing. Because many people (clients and otherwise) have asked me and pointed out a number of disturbing things, I am choosing to address it rather than hear myself and others thrown around.

Yes, people are copying me....straight down to the logo...holiday sessions--word for word and same date...posing and props....and yes, it hurts. Some things just are not coincidence and it has taught me one of the hardest life lessons yet--the art of not taking things personally. I have learned, in the last 14 days especially, that I work in a business where people come out of the woodwork the minute they buy a fancy camera, make a business page--even send personal messages to my own clients soliciting their business--and don't understand how their actions impact others. I work in a visually stimulating business and one where we are always trying to "one up" another. I realized, in the last 24 hours, why I have been so hurt by it. I don't "one up." I don't stalk anyone's photography page and think--how can I be better than them? I work solely on my own heart at the exact moment it happens...naturally, organically, and without studying pinterest or anyone else's photos. I work to be better than myself. Period.

After a rocky road this month, I had contemplated whether or not this business was worth it. I say business because I pay taxes, purchase liability insurance, record mileage, keep receipts, and work my butt off to keep dreaming bigger. Truth be told, I was not positive what I was going to do and I don't know how many times I called my mom asking for reassurance or just needing a shoulder to cry on. In the midst of a business decision gone sour last week, she sent me this: 

"I am not telling you what to do-your life is yours to live-what I do know is you are happiest when you come across a picture you took that is incredible and your excitement is tangible. I can see where your photography feeds a part of you that your day to day life does not feed. I love you, adore you…and know this is a tough time-yet what is worth fighting for? Your business which feeds your soul or your vanilla day to day existence?"

I did not respond to that email...but I did decide to fight for myself and I have processed those very sentiments since. 

I don't know what works for other people...I only know what works for me and I know that there is no other Olivia or Oh! Photography....my heart exists only in myself and people choose that. I believe, with more certainty than ANYTHING in my life, that I have the BEST clients. THE BEST. They are my biggest cheerleaders and fans....their loyalty and honesty, bravery and strength inspires me. I could tell you something special from every session I've ever done. NOT because of anything bad but because each of you is engraved on my heart.

Last week, I got deliveries of wine and chocolate--not because these people knew I was upset or sad but because they wanted to say thank you. Today, alone, I got the sweetest thank you card, a gift card to Starbucks, another bottle of wine (I swear I'm not an alcoholic :) ), and hugs that felt like Heaven. 

What people don't quite understand is this is my heart. Any successful business starts with a passionate individual. These may be your faces and your families but each direction, each movement, each snap comes from somewhere deep inside of me--sometimes, I don't even know where it comes from. I was shooting this afternoon, quickly exclaimed "I totally got him" and the dad asked how I knew. I simply said it has become like breathing. I know because it's an extension of myself. Most photographers will tell you this. It is a part of us. We just know. 

I have reminded myself in these past weeks that comparison is the thief of all joy...and I will not let anyone else steal my joy. I don't know that I will stop taking things personally but I am trying to remember that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery....and, as Kim Thiel told me once, take it as a compliment and move on. 

For each of you who has worried and wondered, this business is not going anywhere....and for those who have reported impostors -thank you for caring, but I simply don't have it in me to care anymore....I am most concerned with the next adventures I will be taking people on....and for those who have checked in, delivered flowers, sweet messages, and convinced me to hold on I am so thankful for your care and kindness. I have nothing but gratitude in my heart for each of you.

October holds another wedding, the first batch of holiday sessions, a sunrise session, babies galore, an event at the Maritime museum, the first Oh!preciation, and FOURTY THREE other booked sessions. I am so blessed. I consider myself one of the rare few who are chosen for who they are.

One of the hardest, and greatest, lessons I've ever learned is when to fight and when to walk away....there are only a select few things in my life worth fighting for....and this business is one of them. 

Jan & Rachel | Wedding

What do you get when you give a crowd of people Polish vodka and set them loose in Silver Creek Park? Rachel and Jan's wedding. All kidding aside, it was amazing...so beautiful and genuine--the love in the room was tangible and nothing short of incredible. I adore them, the way they love each other, and how easy it was to be around them.