What Does Your Love Look Like?

This project has been on my heart  for quite some time. I took on weddings this year...and with weddings came the huge task of details. I have found that, in the few I have done, my favorite detail is the ring shot. While you dream of the dress and the church and the flowers and the music your whole life....you, often, don't get to pick out your ring. I imagine that most men have either dragged their fiancé's ring shopping or have spent countless hours browsing, budgeting, saving, and searching for the perfect one. Think about it--you tell people you're engaged and either you're posting your ring on Facebook, your friend is grabbing your hand to see, or they're asking you about it between excited screaming and congratulating. After they've scoped it out and congratulated you, they ask you how he did it. The ring. It's, in my opinion, the most important detail. That round piece of metal with shiny stones is what starts a planning process where you take your best friends and your mom (and his) dress shopping...you set a date, pick a venue, spend a whole lot of money, and stare at this promise in joyful hope of one of the biggest days of your life.

This got me to thinking some more. I haven't worn my dress again since I've been married....and every decoration and favor are packed away in a box somewhere....my wedding videos are sitting on a shelf and are watched maybe once or twice a year but your rings, they are still there. They've changed over time. Mine went from this stunning white gold and turned a bit yellow after wear...it has scratches and had been caught on filing cabinets, has washed the dishes, been played with by children, and has countless other memories attached to it. It might not be as round or as shiny as it once was but you wouldn't trade it in...and maybe you've thrown it across the room in an argument and maybe you play with it all of the time and maybe you can't get it off or maybe you can't get it on because you're waiting on your baby to arrive and your fingers are swollen. 

Either way...and no matter what...you make a choice to keep it on or take it off. 

My business cards say "anything but ordinary" and this is one of those times. In an attempt to tell you about love, I am choosing to do it in a different way. These rings all have a story. Every single one. I hope you enjoy this as much as I have. Truly, seeing the beauty in something that has changed over time and still remains constant has changed my perspective.

This love is separated. Half of this couple is in Afghanistan while the other half (and their sweet dog) is patiently waiting for him to come home. They've seen deployments, moves, and truly know that absence does make the heart grow fonder. He will still be connected to her, half a world away, and she to him, through these bands on their left hands. 

This love has seen three children...one being a set of twins (holy wow!)....they have been tested, challenged, tried, and have become stronger for it. They will tell you that they are not perfect and their marriage is hard work but each day they choose each other. Her husband's ring means "soul mate" in Gaelic and has the claddagh symbol on the front. The symbol represents three things, love (the heart), friendship (the hands), and loyalty (the crown). If you know this pair, you know that they have all three of those things in their marriage. I love that he looks at her with respect AND this giddy, head over feet love, still...all these years later. I love, even more, that they truly are soul mates. 

This love is raising two children....working on building their dream home...and has ALWAYS been about the best adventures. They are the truest team I have ever seen, each bringing out the best in each other and never exploiting weaknesses but playing to their strengths. They are genuine and kind...and his ring has been scratched and even has a small weld on it (it's the raised part toward the back of the ring)...you can see that they have been worn and loved just as they have loved each other. Neither are perfect but together they are an amazing pair. The way they love each other is inspiring as an outsider....and, as their friend, is gives me more hope than you could ever imagine. They have built a foundation that cannot be rocked or torn because they know that anything worth having requires work. Their love is strong...and they are one of the most amazing couples I've ever met. 

This love has had a long road....while their time together was too short, their love was deep and wide. Her husband is in Heaven....and just before they closed his casket, they returned to her his ring....their love lives still and always will. When I asked her where she felt him the most, she told me that the cemetery was the place she had visited every day since losing him....if you haven't experienced it, there is much comfort there--in a physical place where they do not feel as far as they truly are. This love has known suffering, good times and bad, and they chose each other regardless.....knowing the road would be hard and long....how truly amazing is that.

And, finally....my rings. I chose a chair because Chris had always been my soft place to land. Our love was short but it has changed my entire life. I wear my wedding band on the right hand now...and it's scratched and a bit yellow....but it serves as the best reminder of what we have. My favorite number has always been 8....because, when you turn it on it's side, it means infinity in Greek. I purchased this simple wire ring a few months ago and, when I was setting up this shot, I felt like it belonged there. It is, for me, a blending of what was and what still is. I infinitely love him, still....and while my engagement ring sits beside his wedding band in my jewelry box, I am thankful to have had him at all. Our love was not perfect...we fought, we laughed, we cried, we dreamed, we failed, and we always tried again. My life is very different now but I still find such comfort in looking down at my wedding band and knowing someone in another universe is still looking out for me. I can no longer take a photo with my husband but this photo still shows me our love and, for me, that is more than enough.

As I finish this post, Stand By Me has appropriately come on Pandora....and, for the record, I believe whole heartedly in signs.